Chris Knights thought he might never play football again when his long journey back from a serious knee injury hit another hurdle in mid-2014.
But the forgotten Richmond forward has overcome his latest setback – plus a quad injury that ended his year early – to again feel optimistic about returning to the field in early 2015.
"I'm starting to believe again," the 28-year-old told richmondfc.com.au
"This been one of the hardest training blocks I've done in my AFL career and to get through it unscathed and feeling good the whole time gives me great confidence.
"All I'm going to focus on is making sure I'm doing everything I can to get my body right and play the best I can, and whatever happens, it will take place.
"Then at least I can look back and say I did everything."
Many will recall the dramatic collapse of Knights' right knee in round seven, 2013 – his first season as a Tiger after leaving Adelaide as a free agent.
He'd managed mild patella tendinitis throughout his career but nothing prepared him for the moment his kneebasically fell apart as he went to kick the ball against Port Adelaide at AAMI Stadium.
His patella tendon had been ripped off the bone and required season-ending surgery to fix it.
Subsequent setbacks peppered his recovery and left his knee still not quite right a year after the incident – andled to Knights accept that his football career could be over.
"I was trying to fight through it for a while, thinking it was normal but it got to the stage where I couldn't run or do anything," he said.
"We made the decision to give it about six weeks off and in that time I tried to increase my strength and my general rehab type of stuff to get it right.
"But I suppose at that point, six weeks later, I was at a bit of a crossroads where I was thinking, 'I may never play football again'.
"My knee just wasn't at a level where I could play at the top level."
Knights had an arthroscope in May that discovered a piece of floating bone that had failed to connect after the initial surgery. It had been hidden behind two screws and was undetectable in scans.
It was taken out and 12 weeks later, Knights felt like he was supposed to.
"It was a relief. It was a big sacrifice because I missed another season of football – and I've missed a few in my career – and you play AFL not only because of the game but you want to be involved and you want to contribute to what we're trying to achieve," he said.
"When you're sitting on the sidelines, you can mentor some of the young guys and help them and give your opinions but unless you're out there on game day, you don't really feel a part of it.
"That was a bit how I was feeling, especially when I came from another club – you really want to be involved with your performance and it was quite hard to grasp."
The Tigers helped him through the dark times, and were there again when a right quad strain – caused by a lack of conditioning – ended his VFL comeback later in the year.
He admits now he wouldn't have got through the past two years without the help of those around him.
"Without that sort of support network, it's really tough," he said.
"The club was really good to me – the fitness staff, the coaches, the players.
"That was something that really took me back when I moved from Adelaide to Richmond – the amount of genuine care that the whole environment had for a certain player.
"Even though I was feeling really bad, they tried to include me the whole way.
"There were quite a few conversations had with my girlfriend where she had to pick me up and say, 'You've just got to keep going', which I'm very grateful for."
Knights didn't miss a session in the pre-Christmas training block, which is the first time in five years he's been able to fully participate before the new year.
Earlier in the pre-season, Richmond football manager Dan Richardson told richmondfc.com.au the former Crow would face tough competition to regain his half-forward spot at senior level, given the emergence of Nathan Gordon, Sam Lloyd and Matt McDonough.
But Knights – who is entering the final year of the three-year deal he signed with the Tigers – is motivated by the challenge.
"It won't be easy but that's a good thing," he said.
"Depth is one of the biggest factors of successful teams.
"I'm one of three or four vying for the same position and if we're all playing good football, at least I and the others can hold our heads high if the team is winning.
"I think that's more important than being selfish when it comes to those sorts of things.
"We're helping each other out and making each other better, and that's important for everyone in the team to keep pushing each other."
